Neurodiversity-affirming therapy recognizes that ADHD, Autism, and other neurotype variations are differences in how brains process information, regulate emotion, and interact with the world, not defects to be fixed.

At the same time, affirming neurodivergence does not mean:

• Avoiding accountability

• Excusing harm

• Expecting one partner to endlessly adapt

Instead, therapy focuses on understanding how neurodivergent traits interact with relationship dynamics and supporting both partners in taking responsibility for their impact on one another.

Couples often come to therapy feeling stuck in cycles such as:

• One partner overfunctioning while the other underfunctions, leading to exhaustion and resentment

• Conflict escalating due to sensory overload, emotional flooding, or shutdown

• Mismatched needs around structure, flexibility, closeness, or autonomy

• Difficulty repairing after conflict, resulting in emotional distance

Therapy helps slow these patterns down so they can be understood and shifted, rather than repeated.

Sessions are collaborative and structured to support emotional safety, mutual understanding, and practical change.

We often focus on:

• Identifying nervous system responses that drive conflict

• Understanding differences in processing speed, attention, and emotional regulation

• Examining role expectations around work, home, and caregiving

• Practicing new ways of responding to real moments of tension

The goal is not to make partners more alike, but to help them relate to one another with greater understanding and fairness, and in a way that is sustainable over time.

This work is not a good fit if:

• You are seeking therapy to support a planned separation or divorce

• There is ongoing intimate partner violence or coercive control

• One partner is unwilling to participate

• You are looking for crisis services for active suicidality, court-mandated treatment, or insurance-based care

Neurodiversity-affirming couple therapy works best when both partners are engaged and safety is present.

This work may be a good fit if:

• You both want to work on the relationship, even if things feel strained

• You’re open to examining patterns rather than assigning blame

• You want support that respects neurodivergence and the relationship

• You’re feeling burned out but not ready to give up

Having doubts about whether or not your relationship can improve is not uncommon at the start of couple therapy, but the work does require at least a willingness to fully engage in couple therapy for a period of time in order to learn what is truly possible. If you’re feeling too uncertain to make that commitment, consider an alternative option, such as discernment counseling or individual therapy, as a next step.